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verylittlebird:

kids today google, not giggle. they play angry birds instead of getting angry AT birds. they all have an ipad but no iq. not even one. they playstation but they never play station. i.e. one pretending to be a train and the others pretending to be different trains or low paid maintenance workers. they’re obsessed with one direction, rather than enjoying all eight directions equally. facebook… but unable to face… a book. or a hoop with a stick. a lost generation. the tv show.

feathor:

when your friend cusses in front of your parents

image

(Source: orcas)

(Source: beeishappy)

communistbakery:

when she say go deeper but u all out of dickimage

(Source: communistbakery)

lyingmary:

imnotpooping75:

imnotpooping75:

where did noah keep his bees

IN THE ARK HIVES

Get the fuck away from me right now

satanicnutellacats:

5th grade sex ed more like

image

spankmehardbarry:

conkersradfurday:

spankmehardbarry:

i keep getting random erections today and idk why

I guess you could say it’s been a hard day.

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blastortoise:

bank: your account is at -$5000….

me: |-5000|

me: :)

bank: sorry for wasting your time sir, you have a nice day.

badnatured:

no wonder they’re called oral presentations they suck dick

(Source: lipgallagher)

vinebox:

Hoes be like

adrians:

adrians:

the best thing about having the house to myself is that I can make breakfast in my underwear

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corporateaccount:

iowa is the only state that consists entirely of vowels

w is not a vowel

- every message in my inbox for the next 16 years (via corporateaccount)